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courtesy Vanity Fair

Bennifer, Part Deux: The Slow March Down The Aisle

That’s Mrs. Jennifer Affleck to us peons!

The Bennifer wedding fiASSco continues on!

As Jennifer Garner Affleck side-eyes us all from a corner, but we digress…

After officially hitching it up in Las Vegas last month in an alleged quest for privacy, the two famewhores decided to go bigger than all of Jennifer’s 17 asses combined and say ‘I do’ yet again on Affleck’s plantation-esque estate in Georgia over the weekend.

This time there were guests brought in from nearby Savannah to Hampton Island to witness the couple walk down the aisle. Guests included Matt Damon (who was probably one of the people that talked Ben out of marrying her the first time, but again, we digress…) Kevin Smith of Mallrats fame, and others. There were probably a lot more, but many also declined to attend for fear of this one being canceled at the last minute as well. Ben’s brother Casey was noticeably absent and seen shopping in Los Angeles the day before. But the real revelation of the weekend?

After all these weddings and engagements, Lopez had the audacity to wear white!


Bennifer, Part Deux Brings Out The Fireworks

Famously coupled in 2002 and splitting in 2004, Affleck left Lopez to marry another Jennifer (Garner), and popped out three kids with her, while Jennifer (Lopez) married Latin crooner Marc Anthony and went on to have twins Emme and Max, 14. The wedding in the island has been in the planning stage since July and once they sell the official photos to some magazine, we will have the non-grainy images in 5,4,3,2…

Is There A Prenup Involved?

don’t be fooled. Jennifer Garner is RELIEVED!

Of course, no one wants to talk about money when there is so much of it in the room, but sources say that both are allegedly coming into and possibly leaving the marriage with what they brought to it. Who is the richer of the two? Well, it looks like Jennifer Lopez leads Ben by a few derrieres on that front (see what we did there?), but if they do part ways, you can bet your last bottom (we did it again!) dollar that we will know what each one has in the vaults.

But as old as they are, they should just stay married and live apart forever if worse comes to worse.

Jennifer Lopez, Liz Taylor you are not!

Triston is an American jetset performance artist, writer, event organizer, and activist based in Europe. As a freelance journalist, he has covered both the underground and mainstream aspects of the arts, culture, music, entertainment, travel, fashion and Fashion Week in several cities, including New York, London, Berlin, Istanbul, Sydney, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and Tokyo to name a few. He has been published in The Huffington Post, Trespass (London), Adaras Magazine (Miami) as well as featured in publications such as the New York Times, Vogue Italia, Washington Post, Turkish Huriyet and other on-line and print magazines in the U.S. and internationally. He recently released his memoir on life in Europe, 'Heaux Confessionals'. As a solo performer and with his band $kandal Du$t, he has toured in some of the world's most renowned clubs, simultaneously maintaining an underground renaissance, blurring the lines of all that is traditional and leaving his indelible, and ultimately unforgettable impression. There is no divide.

Brace yourself.


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