It seems as if the entire nation is mourning the loss of the union between Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert, two of the country’s biggest country music stars. As news begins to seep that Blake left Miranda, the real heart of the issue is becoming more apparent.
The chirrenz.
Make that lack thereof.
Those that opined the Shelton was cheating are barking up the wrong tree, because the real tea is reportedly that Lambert, whose career is still rising, refused to pop out any babythings for The Blakey! Says a source…
“He is eager to have children, but she really enjoys not being tied down. I think they both were off on what the time frame would be.”
The couple issued a joint statement about their breakup:
“This is not the future we envisioned. And it is with heavy hearts that we move forward separately. We are real people, with real lives, with real families, friends and colleagues.”
Now, we all liked them together, but Blake cannot pry those thighs apart and force his baby batter into her now, can he?!
We wish them well and now watch Miranda ride off into the sunset with a bigger career, blonder hair, and a hotter man down the road.
Now let’s all collectively go…
Awwwwwwwwww.