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Those muffled screams you hear in the background are Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashian, livid that their time in the limelight will now have to be shared.

Shared?

The horror!

That tantrum you hear is Kylie Jenner simply beside herself now that she has yet to get her turn on the corner. But being that pesky age of 17 ain’t helping matters.

 

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Caitlyn Jenner is channeling supermodel Gia Carangi in a classic shot from her…

 

 

That deep-throated yell you hear is from Khloe, enraged that now she will have to share her wardrobe with the latest Kardashian-Jenner to burst on to the scene. And this time?

It’s personal.

Exit Bruce.

Enter Caitlyn.

Enter the real story.

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And it’s not like Kris hadn’t been begging Bruce for years to sit on this news as she placed each daughter on a corner and demanded poonhurlery from them

It’s not as if Kris didn’t know what was going on as Bruce slowly got his face, hair, and nails primed and ready for what is set to be the finest hour yet of Kardashian-Jenner fodder.

It’s not as if Kris can’t help but notice that her brand has taken some significant hits the past few days.

The message is clear: Kris and the Kardashian klan will have to dramatically re-invent themselves because?

Caitlyn is here and she is coming for you!

 

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Caitlyn is breaking the internet, FOR REAL…

And the post? An homage to Gia Carangi, one of the first supermodels. Not only is that a sign of where Caitlyn intends to go, but by spelling Caitlyn with a ‘C’, she has made it clear to Kris Jenner.

It’s Caitlyn time!

And so, no one cares that Kanye managed to knock up Kim Kardashian yet again. That’s just two prostitots on the future corner instead of one in 2030. No one cares that Kylie is having a mini-THOTwar with Blac Chyna right now over Tyga. No one cares that Kendall Jenner may be finally realising her destiny and dating a black man in Lewis Hamilton.

None of that matters.

 

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Kris has thrown out all the famewhoriness that she can muster the past week and a half and now it is exceedingly clear that all eyes will be on what Caitlyn is saying, what Caityln is wearing, where Caitlyn is going. All we know is this?

We are watching you, Caitlyn.

Get those other trip off your corner. The famewhore hour is yours.

 

 

Triston

Triston is an American jetset performance artist, writer, event organizer, and activist based in Europe. As a freelance journalist, he has covered both the underground and mainstream aspects of the arts, culture, music, entertainment, travel, fashion and Fashion Week in several cities, including New York, London, Berlin, Istanbul, Sydney, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and Tokyo to name a few. He has been published in The Huffington Post, Trespass (London), Adaras Magazine (Miami) as well as featured in publications such as the New York Times, Vogue Italia, Turkish Huriyet and other on-line and print magazines in the U.S. and internationally. He recently released his memoir on life in Europe, ‘Heaux Confessionals’. As a solo performer and with his band $kandal Du$t, he has toured in some of the world’s most renowned clubs, simultaneously maintaining an underground renaissance, blurring the lines of all that is traditional and leaving his indelible, and ultimately unforgettable impression. There is no divide.


Brace yourself.


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