Chelsea

You better watch your back, Chelsea!

Or should we say veins?

Because Eric Trump may get up out of his coffin, fly over to your LA manse, and suck the Vodka-fied blood right out your neck, sista!

And why is The Donald’s other ugly child so sullen as of late?

Well, it seems that Handler sent out a tweet of destruction that rubbed his Butthead the wrong way after hearing about his wife’s pregnancy:

“Just what we need. Another person with those jeans [sic].” “It’s just sad, right?”

Chelsea

Ivanka sandblasted Daddy’s features from her face, leaving her siblings to carry the facial f*ckery

We will ignore Chelsea’s misspelling only because we understood her loud and clear. Eric, in order to defend his wife’s honor, had this to say:

“Sad that society’s gotten to the point where something as beautiful as this and life and babies and innocence . . . really gets taken down like that because of politics. I mean, that’s how divided we’ve become as a nation . . . It’s really, really sad. This is a very special thing and it should be celebrated. When someone spells genes incorrectly, you kind of have to turn your head and ignore it a little.”

He then tried to defend his other ugly siblings with this follow-up:

“Where I find it harder is when I see my little brother, you know, Barron or when I see Tiffany, who’s kind of just coming into her own . . . it’s a little bit tough when you see young children getting hit every single day by grown-ups.There’s supposed to be an unwritten rule and, unfortunately, it’s just not being followed.”

Chelsea

this is exhibit A of why you don’t see Tiffany Trump much…

Now, is it anyone’s fault but his father’s that there is no money left in their Emergency Facial Reconstruction Fund? Because as everyone knows…

Ivanka stole it all!

 

Chelsea

Ivanka’s original face before plastic surgery saved the day!

Triston
Triston is an American jetset performance artist, writer, event organizer, and activist based in Europe. As a freelance journalist, he has covered both the underground and mainstream aspects of the arts, culture, music, entertainment, travel, fashion and Fashion Week in several cities, including New York, London, Berlin, Istanbul, Sydney, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and Tokyo to name a few. He has been published in The Huffington Post, Trespass (London), Adaras Magazine (Miami) as well as featured in publications such as the New York Times, Vogue Italia, Turkish Huriyet and other on-line and print magazines in the U.S. and internationally. He recently released his memoir on life in Europe, 'Heaux Confessionals'. As a solo performer and with his band $kandal Du$t, he has toured in some of the world's most renowned clubs, simultaneously maintaining an underground renaissance, blurring the lines of all that is traditional and leaving his indelible, and ultimately unforgettable impression. There is no divide.

Brace yourself.


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