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That’s Miss Eltina John if you’re nasty!

Now, we all know Elton John is like that great aunt or uncle that arrives at the family gathering and as soon as you see them, you know some ISH is about to go down.

Enter Eltina.

Enter shade.

Exit stage left!

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Now, we all know Dame Elton has been known to tilt – and then toss – his tiara at other poptrixxx in the past, but he is coming for the right one now! As Madonna continues to lick the wounds from his last verbal slap of her musical efforts, John has now turned his attentions to the Empress of Pop. And just like Beyonce is not having it this year?

Miss Janet ain’t either.

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Beyonce is backup…

Elton, apparently feeling himself and all of his geriatric 69 years, had this to say in Rolling Stone about Janet’s current tour…

“You know, fucking music magazines writing a review of Janet Jackson saying, ‘This is the greatest show – four and a half stars.’ It’s fucking lip-synced! Hello! That’s not a show! I’d rather go and see a drag queen. Fuck off.”

– verbal SLAP

You know the entire Jackson clan heard this shade and immediately set retaliation in motion:

Rebbie turned on ‘Centipede’ as she took off her heels and grabbed her Vaseline.

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Latoya took off her new nose and grabbed her original one that she uses only for parking lot beatdowns.

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Joe Jackson went into his secret closet and took out his most powerful switches, and even Katherine got up off the porch. Tito went and got the tissues on the ready as he knows what time it is. Because, Elton?

It’s on, bitch!

Because it’s much easier to sing live when you and your 17 asses are perched behind a piano singing sped-up hymns under a candelabra. Right, Miss John?

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Riiiiiight!

So don’t just have a seat, Eltina….

Have a PEW.

And for those of you that have never seen a Janet Jackson show live, the experience will leave you breathless. Exhibit A:

Triston
Triston is an American jetset performance artist, writer, event organizer, and activist based in Europe. As a freelance journalist, he has covered both the underground and mainstream aspects of the arts, culture, music, entertainment, travel, fashion and Fashion Week in several cities, including New York, London, Berlin, Istanbul, Sydney, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and Tokyo to name a few. He has been published in The Huffington Post, Trespass (London), Adaras Magazine (Miami) as well as featured in publications such as the New York Times, Vogue Italia, Turkish Huriyet and other on-line and print magazines in the U.S. and internationally. He recently released his memoir on life in Europe, 'Heaux Confessionals'. As a solo performer and with his band $kandal Du$t, he has toured in some of the world's most renowned clubs, simultaneously maintaining an underground renaissance, blurring the lines of all that is traditional and leaving his indelible, and ultimately unforgettable impression. There is no divide.

Brace yourself.


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