Paging HOmarosa!

Paging HOmarosa!

Former White House aide, top #Republicoon©, and all-around bitch Omarosa has really done it this time!

Initially, upon hearing this tea, we were inclined to set it to the side and not sip it. We were concerned about solidarity with people of color. But then? But then? We were reminded that Omarosa was no longer a member of the black contingent and all bets were off. So, without any remorse we are now prepared to sip liberally, re-heat the kettle, count the bags, and offer up all the Tetley, Luzianne, and Earl Grey that a muthaf*cka can sip! And it will be so damn scorchin’ hot that you all will just have to sit there as it cools. And while it slowly sets itself to a lower temperature, let us spill…

Omarosa

Former Apprentice contestant Claudia Jordan appeared on the Unstabled podcast and had this to say about Manigault:“I heard some presidential tea regrading Omarosa. Allegedly, I have a friend of a friend of hers that — there is some talk that there may have been some inappropriateness between the two…allegedly. I would be surprised because of what he used to say to me about her looks. How can I say this without everybody hating me? He’s more of a house Negro type of Black woman…but then again, if you’re just getting head allegedly, I think that head has no face.”

Even Monica Lewinsky is reading this and is like…

Omarosa

Omarosa, the last time we heard from her, claims that she has a story to tell about Donald that we will all be waiting to hear, but our question is this?

How is she going to tell her side of the story when her mouth is already full?

You better swallow that Cheeto jizz, trick!

And that is just it. NOW we know why Omarosa left the White House kicking and flailing.

Omarosa

HOmarosa swallowed that cheese whiz!

The theory at Verbal SLAPS is that Omarosa swallowed that Cheeto Mussolini jizz (with Melania probably clapping for joy in the adjacent bedroom because that’s one less time she has to touch that dusty d*ck) and then when it came time, she decided that she was not going to take that geriatric jizz down her throat and that’s when The Don came un-done.

Cut to the Secret Service grabbing her by the p*ssy, flinging her into a ditch, then changing the locks.

Chiiiiiile.

And isn’t Omarosa married to a man of the cloth now?

Looks like she might have to get on her knees now for another reason and pray this rumor away.

Let’s hope God is still answering the prayers of whores.

Omarosa

Meanwhile, let US continue sippin’, because whoever said the best part of waking up was Folger’s is a goddamn lie!

Triston
Triston is an American jetset performance artist, writer, event organizer, and activist based in Europe. As a freelance journalist, he has covered both the underground and mainstream aspects of the arts, culture, music, entertainment, travel, fashion and Fashion Week in several cities, including New York, London, Berlin, Istanbul, Sydney, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and Tokyo to name a few. He has been published in The Huffington Post, Trespass (London), Adaras Magazine (Miami) as well as featured in publications such as the New York Times, Vogue Italia, Turkish Huriyet and other on-line and print magazines in the U.S. and internationally. He recently released his memoir on life in Europe, 'Heaux Confessionals'. As a solo performer and with his band $kandal Du$t, he has toured in some of the world's most renowned clubs, simultaneously maintaining an underground renaissance, blurring the lines of all that is traditional and leaving his indelible, and ultimately unforgettable impression. There is no divide.

Brace yourself.


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