Julianne Hough has some sexplainin’ to do!
We learned last year that – quasi-quelle surprise – that Julianne Hough is not straight, and while that may or may not salivate the loins of some, we are not even a smidge interested in which way her clitscuits© are blowing, clapping, clickin’ and cavortin’.
We would be far, FAR more interested in what exactly it is she DOES in La La Land aside from beard, show up at red carpets, and occasionally dance with some has-been celebrity. We would be far more interested in when her brother, Derek Hough, is going to come out of his walk-in closet and tell the world which side of his bread he prefers buttered.
We are W-A-I-T-I-N-G!
Is Julianne’s Husband Coming Out TOO?
Now that Julianne has released her truth, now comes word that her new beard, er husband, NHL player Brooks Laich, may be about to dangle his toes, fingers, and other appendages out of the closet with his featured piece. Now Laich is professing to learn more about his own sexuality in the Roaring 20s. On his new Instagram account, the hockey player revealed that he is…
“open to all things and present in my relationships,” and wants to know more “about intimacy and my sexuality.” And following up, he added this: “As the new year inches closer, I’m doing some reflecting, and some looking ahead. I’m always working on becoming a better man, a better version of me, and it always starts with a vision of who that person is. Knowing where I am, and where I want to go, are equally important.”
Call Up the Sex Coach!
Which has us over here at VerbalSLAPS asking ourselves this:
The two of you have been married barely three months and already you need a coach to help you put the doo hilly in the chocha with confidence? Somewhere, Kelly Preston and John Travolta are looking at one another and are like….
The couple have also talked about working with a sex educator to create “erotic blueprints.”
We are already THROUGH with these two, and we never even began!