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Imagine a place in the world where the Kardashian ‘brand’ has not reached your shores? How amazing must that be?

Well, that time is over for Cuba, which has just been exposed to a new strain of STD that will be impossible to eradicate.

Enter Kardashians.

Enter infection-laden THOTS.

Enter penicillin, Amoxycillin, and other anti-viral drugs.

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Kim, Kanye, and the rest of that famewhorin’ KKlan descended upon the formerly un-bothered island and immediately had the natives whispering to one another in Spanish…

“who ARE these hookers?!”

Of course, the Kardashians weren’t paying attention to the natives because they were too busy taking selfies and doing what they do best:

Absolutely nada!

When you hear about Cubans complaining of unexplained rashes and sudden vomiting, you will all know exactly who and what caused it.

Save yourselves, Cuba!

Triston
Triston is an American jetset performance artist, writer, event organizer, and activist based in Europe. As a freelance journalist, he has covered both the underground and mainstream aspects of the arts, culture, music, entertainment, travel, fashion and Fashion Week in several cities, including New York, London, Berlin, Istanbul, Sydney, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and Tokyo to name a few. He has been published in The Huffington Post, Trespass (London), Adaras Magazine (Miami) as well as featured in publications such as the New York Times, Vogue Italia, Turkish Huriyet and other on-line and print magazines in the U.S. and internationally. He recently released his memoir on life in Europe, 'Heaux Confessionals'. As a solo performer and with his band $kandal Du$t, he has toured in some of the world's most renowned clubs, simultaneously maintaining an underground renaissance, blurring the lines of all that is traditional and leaving his indelible, and ultimately unforgettable impression. There is no divide.

Brace yourself.


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