Kate ‘I Never Met a Peen I Didn’t Like‘ Hudson may be up to some more poonhurlery®.
Exit Jennifer Lawrence.
Enter Kate Hudson.
Enter Poontification®!

 

Now that she has wrangled her worn out nether-region from last husband Matthew Bellamy and Chris has been (un)consciously un-coupled with Gwyneth Paltrow for more than a hot minute, it seems that Kate’s yes-hole (because seriously, when does it ever say no?) may have snatched up some new real estate in rocker Chris Martin.

 

even on a beach, Kate is looking for the corner…

Now, these two have allegedly been friends for years, but when have you ever seen these two in the same damn frame anywhere? You know Gwyneth was not allowing that hussy near her home, so apparently they were secret friends that could only meet in dark alleys and shit for however long they’ve known one another.

Any-friendsornotshewouldlethimhitit-way, the two were spotted by the paparazzi on the beach with all their chirrenz in Malibu.

We’ll see how long this lasts. Actually, let us call up GOOP and see what Gwyneth has to say about this.

 

 

“What’s Solange’s number?! I need her to whoop a trick for me too!”

I think we might have to bring some boxing gloves or a mud pit back and let these two blondes battle it out.

Our money’s on Gwyneth for the win!

Stay tuned…

Triston
Triston is an American jetset performance artist, writer, event organizer, and activist based in Europe. As a freelance journalist, he has covered both the underground and mainstream aspects of the arts, culture, music, entertainment, travel, fashion and Fashion Week in several cities, including New York, London, Berlin, Istanbul, Sydney, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and Tokyo to name a few. He has been published in The Huffington Post, Trespass (London), Adaras Magazine (Miami) as well as featured in publications such as the New York Times, Vogue Italia, Turkish Huriyet and other on-line and print magazines in the U.S. and internationally. He recently released his memoir on life in Europe, 'Heaux Confessionals'. As a solo performer and with his band $kandal Du$t, he has toured in some of the world's most renowned clubs, simultaneously maintaining an underground renaissance, blurring the lines of all that is traditional and leaving his indelible, and ultimately unforgettable impression. There is no divide.

Brace yourself.


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