First of all…?

Kate Upton

since she’s only a household name in THOSE households. Insert eyeroll *here*

Just when everyone thought it was safe again and that Becky had taken a slight sabbatical, it appears that Rob Lowe is not the only one that has put his foot in his mouth the last few days. Another marginal celebrity has thrown her opinion into the ring and it is but confirmation that Becky’s face is in constant metamorphosis.

Enter Kate Upton.

Enter white fragility.

Enter #SaltineOfSorcery.

Remember back to a time not long ago when Kate Upton was only referenced when it came to discussing glorious tittyballs and blondes of marginal talent that still managed to get hired? Well, she should have stayed in that ditch zone, because once Upton decided to open her mouth and become a spokesmodel, it became clear that she is just another example of a white girl that is unconscious, asleep at the wheel, and MIA from what’s happening in the world today. But does that EVER stop #Becky?


Of course not!

Kate Upton

Beware, Jessica Seinfeld! The #SaltinesOfSorcery are always recruiting!


Upton decided to issue a verbal slap to those NFL players sitting during the national anthem, because in her opinion, 9/11 should be a day that POC should take a break from the protest. Becky ran to her Twitter account to rant….

“You should be proud to be an American. Especially on 9/11 when we should support each other.” “Protest&speak ur mind whenever u want but during the 120secs you should support the people who protect our freedom.”

So Kate is basically saying that black people should take a break from their complaining because it’s 9/11?Well, listen up, Becks, because the last time we read the Constitution, Americans are allowed to exercise that right if they so choose. The last time we checked, a privileged white woman telling black people when and how to protest is just a tad bit offensive. What time and place would be more appropriate for Becky? You know how she likes schedules.

But the plot trickens, because Kate’s white privilege doesn’t just stop there. She has family members that are in direct contention to her ideology. Why did her Uncle Fred (Michigan Republican, House committee) vote against the Zadroga Act for 9/11 Responders’ Compensation and Healthcare THREE times in 2010?

How un-American is that?

Kate Upton

note, Kate? Sports Illustrated covers do NOT make you a supermodel. But thanks for playing!

So the next time Kate feels the need to offer her UNexpert opinion on affairs it is clear she has nary a clue about, a word of advice?

Just remember to do what you do best, #Becky.

Stay silent, smile, and bask in your white privilege. Rob Lowe is waiting for you on the corner of Unconscious Lane and White Fragility Avenue.

#Becky, BYE!

Triston is an American jetset performance artist, writer, event organizer, and activist based in Europe. As a freelance journalist, he has covered both the underground and mainstream aspects of the arts, culture, music, entertainment, travel, fashion and Fashion Week in several cities, including New York, London, Berlin, Istanbul, Sydney, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and Tokyo to name a few. He has been published in The Huffington Post, Trespass (London), Adaras Magazine (Miami) as well as featured in publications such as the New York Times, Vogue Italia, Turkish Huriyet and other on-line and print magazines in the U.S. and internationally. He recently released his memoir on life in Europe, 'Heaux Confessionals'. As a solo performer and with his band $kandal Du$t, he has toured in some of the world's most renowned clubs, simultaneously maintaining an underground renaissance, blurring the lines of all that is traditional and leaving his indelible, and ultimately unforgettable impression. There is no divide.

Brace yourself.


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