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Megan Fox Will Have No Bastards!



Mere moments before we were all set to play the ‘Who Is My BabyDaddy?’ game, Megan Fox has silenced the general public by confirming that the father of her third child is none other than the father of her first two. Fox ran to her Instagram account to tease that none of her recent co-stars – Shia LaBeouf, Will Arnett, or Jake Johnson – were possibly the father.


The father is Brian Austin Green, who she filed for divorce from back in August. Apparently, Megan wishes that nether-region were detachable because she’s still been poppin’ it off. And now, since she’s knocked up and dead set against delivering a bastard baby, Fox and Green have decided to put a hold on their impending divorce for the sake of their unborn child.

Megan Fox, a cast member in the upcoming film "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows," takes the stage during the Paramount Pictures presentation at CinemaCon 2016, the official convention of the National Association of Theatre Owners (NATO), at Caesars Palace on Monday, April 11, 2016, in Las Vegas. (Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP)
Because nothing says love like staying married to someone you want to run from simply because you don’t want a bastard in your family.
Triston is an American jetset performance artist, writer, event organizer, and activist based in Europe. As a freelance journalist, he has covered both the underground and mainstream aspects of the arts, culture, music, entertainment, travel, fashion and Fashion Week in several cities, including New York, London, Berlin, Istanbul, Sydney, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and Tokyo to name a few. He has been published in The Huffington Post, Trespass (London), Adaras Magazine (Miami) as well as featured in publications such as the New York Times, Vogue Italia, Washington Post, Turkish Huriyet and other on-line and print magazines in the U.S. and internationally. He recently released his memoir on life in Europe, 'Heaux Confessionals'. As a solo performer and with his band $kandal Du$t, he has toured in some of the world's most renowned clubs, simultaneously maintaining an underground renaissance, blurring the lines of all that is traditional and leaving his indelible, and ultimately unforgettable impression. There is no divide.

Brace yourself.


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