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MEGXIT: Meghan & Harry Say Adios To The UK!

While UK and the commonwealth may not have seen this one coming, we over here at VerbalSLAPS and the entire conglomerate known in America as #BlackTwitter called this months ago. And now that #Megxit has confirmed, all we have to say to Brits crying and whining?

B*tch, we told ya!

In news that shocked everyone outside of America without melanin, Duchess Meghan took her man, Prince Harry, her son Archie, and crossed BACK over the Atlantic to the land of good and plenty and far less racist.

Yes, we said it. Fight us!

In a terse official statement, the two – who have been tormented by not only the British press for years now, but also by racists inside the family (don’t MAKE us drag out the receipts) decided that enough was enough and formally stepped down from their roles as senior royals.

Now Princesses Eugenie & Beatrice Can Actually DO Something

The Palace, which claims to be blindsided can also have several seats, because? The last time we checked, Harry and Meghan are two whole, entire grown ass people with a baby – and possibly more – on the way. And while Brits may think anyone with color blessing their cheeks may have to sit idly by and accept abuse on the daily, Duchess Meghan took one look at her portfolio, how she was raised, and how she refused to have her offspring raised, and thought…

Muthaf*ckas…BYE!

Wallis Simpson And Princess Diana Are Laughing In Heaven

“Dear #QEII: Checkmate, trick!”
Sincerely, THAT B*tch

Wallis may have gotten the last laugh!

Princess Diana, God bless her heart, would have approved this move, and Wallis Simpson, another American dogged by the British press and Royal Family, is probably kiki’in on a bench with a cup of tea with Di right now.

not the UGLY CRY, Kate!

Meanwhile? Duchess Kate was seen trying to pole vault across the fence of Buckingham Palace with babies in tow. Unfortunately, she was stopped mid-vault by guards, with Kleenex thrown at her face.

Too bad, Kate! You’re trapped, heaux!

Triston
Triston is an American jetset performance artist, writer, event organizer, and activist based in Europe. As a freelance journalist, he has covered both the underground and mainstream aspects of the arts, culture, music, entertainment, travel, fashion and Fashion Week in several cities, including New York, London, Berlin, Istanbul, Sydney, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and Tokyo to name a few. He has been published in The Huffington Post, Trespass (London), Adaras Magazine (Miami) as well as featured in publications such as the New York Times, Vogue Italia, Washington Post, Turkish Huriyet and other on-line and print magazines in the U.S. and internationally. He recently released his memoir on life in Europe, 'Heaux Confessionals'. As a solo performer and with his band $kandal Du$t, he has toured in some of the world's most renowned clubs, simultaneously maintaining an underground renaissance, blurring the lines of all that is traditional and leaving his indelible, and ultimately unforgettable impression. There is no divide.

Brace yourself.


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