Someone hand #HOTUS an article, then hand her husband articles of impeachment.

Bye, b*tches!

Oh boo-f*ckin hoo…
Melania didn’t sign up for this life, they said.
But I don’t see her returning any of those old cheekbones, injectable fillers, or designer bags.
Melania didn’t sign up for this life, they said.
As she sashayed and strutted her way to a visa situation that would keep her within our borders before she got tossed out on her first face…
She didn’t sign up for that degree either, but she claimed to have received one.
She got her ass Jessica Fletcher-ed and receipts – or lack thereof – were thrown in her un-original face.

the University of Slovenia checked HOTUS’ oil and she quickly recanted those graduation claims…

Even though parts of Melania may not be of legal age, she is still – for the most part – a grown ass woman. And as such?

She gets nary a f*ck off the f*ckery bush from me. She gets no pass from Team Common Sense, and we don’t care how many speeches and programs she pulls from the Obama archives and tries to pass off as her own.
We have zero sympathy for Melania for several reasons…

Melania will shade your man AND then steal your plans! Watch out!

First of all, she knew when she married him what she was marrying but she signed on the dotted line *anyway*. Any woman in NYC that reaches that circle of socialites vets their spouse thoroughly before saying ‘I do‘, and if she didn’t, that’s her dumb ass fault and she should get her degree back from the University of Slovenia.

Oh wait.

There isn’t one.


Second, she sat her snatched and slitty-eyed self right next to #Cheetotus and spouted that birtherism lie when she knew it was a lie, when she could have easily sat her ass down and shut the f*ck up. Which is what she has basically done most of her time in Office.

Third, she continues to stay married to a man that is every bad ‘-ist’ in the book, further proof of her complicity.

Fourth, this #BeBest is #bullshit and an attempt to deflect attention from the impending actions of Mueller against her meal ticket.


we’re gonna insist on Melania getting a grammar coach NOW

Fifth, we got enough problems with homegrown, born and raised Americans trying to throw people of color under a bus, so we most definitely have ZERO f*cks to give to a woman who sucked and swallowed her ass to a green card and probably shouldn’t be within America’s borders shitting on damn near half of its population in the first place.

We’re not buying it, and as long as she sits there and supports this buffoon she gets not one iota of sympathy from us because she is a grown ass woman. She would earn our respect if she left him and recanted her alignment with his ideology.

Until she does that, which is highly unlikely?

#HOTUS, bye!!

She canNOT sit with us.

                                                     what’s the difference? not a GODDAMN thing!

For everyone proclaiming Melania is releasing a ‘plan’, sit your ass down and think of its timing and why it’s coming now.
Therein lies your answer.
Probably because DOJ is about to check her check’s oil. Probably because her security blanket is about to be snatched out the White House by his pumpkin orange tendrils, leaving her out in the cold and forced to fend for herself.
If she had any damn sense (which is arguable), she’d get Ivana and Marla on a conference call and plot her escape. We think it’s high time that Melania find another corner to cavort her clitscuits© before time runs completely out!
Because Harriet is already busy and will NOT be accepting THAT phone call.
Triston is an American jetset performance artist, writer, event organizer, and activist based in Europe. As a freelance journalist, he has covered both the underground and mainstream aspects of the arts, culture, music, entertainment, travel, fashion and Fashion Week in several cities, including New York, London, Berlin, Istanbul, Sydney, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and Tokyo to name a few. He has been published in The Huffington Post, Trespass (London), Adaras Magazine (Miami) as well as featured in publications such as the New York Times, Vogue Italia, Turkish Huriyet and other on-line and print magazines in the U.S. and internationally. He recently released his memoir on life in Europe, 'Heaux Confessionals'. As a solo performer and with his band $kandal Du$t, he has toured in some of the world's most renowned clubs, simultaneously maintaining an underground renaissance, blurring the lines of all that is traditional and leaving his indelible, and ultimately unforgettable impression. There is no divide.

Brace yourself.


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