Home / Culture Slap / Op/Ed: Melania Trump Is #HOTUS©
Melania Trump

Op/Ed: Melania Trump Is #HOTUS©

Melania Trump
The Fabulous Faker Boy: because nothing says class like propping your THOT on a piano

Listen up, America.

Before you even think about having sympathy on the nation’s next woman in the White House (and I refuse to use the word ‘First Lady’, because she ain’t one), know this…

Melania Trump is everything that a insecure, conservative white man wants in a woman: : uneducated, nearly emaciated pretty woman. And for her supporters that still think she has a degree, excuse me while those of us with common sense kiki in a corner. As Michelle Obama spends her last few weeks as #FLOTUS, the nation and the world at large awaits the first of its kind: Ho Of The United States

Melania Trump

Melania, aka #HOTUS©, chose THAT LIFE, and I don’t see her leaving and getting that alimony check, so she must be fine with it. She must be fine living in today’s world and playing subservient, borderline mistress to a man that has been called misogynistic so many times that even Melania can pronounce and possibly spell it. And why should the world have sympathy on her? As the third wife to Donald Trump, she should have a skin as thick as her eyeliner!

Furthermore, I would have sympathy for Melania if she and her team had not tried to portray her as something she’s not: an educated, independent woman who has gotten to her position through hard work and intellect, as opposed to store-bought tittyballs, extensive plastic surgery, and dangling her wares in search of a sugar daddy on her shady visa.

Melania Trump

And last but certainly not least?

The vitriol that has been hurled at Michelle Obama and her family while being the most poised, educated, and influential First Lady in history has been just BEYOND. Living overseas, I have heard her called everything from gorilla to ‘SOOOO pretty’ when – in my opinion – the #FLOTUS‘ looks should never even be mentioned in such detail. I NEVER heard anyone shading Laura Bush, Barbara Bush or even Hillary as they have her. And so, YEAH, I have ZERO f*cks to give about Melania and her purchased family because the people that support TRUMP are busted bastards that have not a lick of sense! So if Melania wants to garner any respect from anyone other than geriatric white men, she can do us all a favor and use her pillow in the middle of the night to smother her husband’s Cheeto-dusted face and end the f*ckery once and for all!

*drops mic*

Triston is an American jetset performance artist, writer, event organizer, and activist based in Europe. As a freelance journalist, he has covered both the underground and mainstream aspects of the arts, culture, music, entertainment, travel, fashion and Fashion Week in several cities, including New York, London, Berlin, Istanbul, Sydney, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and Tokyo to name a few. He has been published in The Huffington Post, Trespass (London), Adaras Magazine (Miami) as well as featured in publications such as the New York Times, Vogue Italia, Washington Post, Turkish Huriyet and other on-line and print magazines in the U.S. and internationally. He recently released his memoir on life in Europe, 'Heaux Confessionals'. As a solo performer and with his band $kandal Du$t, he has toured in some of the world's most renowned clubs, simultaneously maintaining an underground renaissance, blurring the lines of all that is traditional and leaving his indelible, and ultimately unforgettable impression. There is no divide.

Brace yourself.


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