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An Open Letter to Caitlyn Jenner

Dear Caitlyn Jenner:

You think you can get a pass at LIFE simply because you lived a lie until you reached retirement age and expect everyone to applaud your bold and brave decision to come out as transgender?

Guess what, Caitlyn with a C?

You’re a c*nt!


That pity party you were expecting has been cut unceremoniously short for good reason.

We know you just lopped your balls off, but maybe you need to go retrieve them or grow another pair, because this current M.O. you have isn’t working in any way, shape, or form!

At each and EVERY turn, the LGBTQIA has given your raggedy, triflin’ ass attempt after attempt to correct/re-phrase/re-constitute/re-seat yourself and nearly every goddamn time you have put your oversized pumps in your mouth. You have not been a true ally to that community and if anything, Caitlyn, you have been a detriment and a distraction from real activists like Janet Mock or Candis Cayne, who have the experience AND proper ideology to speak to their core constituents.

But nooooo

Since you have a built-in family via your skankbiscuit kunty kinfolk, the media throws a microphone in front of your mouth any chance they get and you are always ready to suck it.

Well b*tch you need to learn how to swallow!

wanna make America great again, Caitlyn? Start by driving off a cliff!

Caitlyn Jenner doesn’t give a goddamn about anybody anyway. Caitlyn Jenner just want some damn head(lines) and media coverage. Caitlyn Jenner wants everyone to see who and what she’s wearing. Caitlyn Jenner is still a privileged saltine attempting to align herself with the minorities. At the end of the day, Caitlyn Jenner  is riding the wave of white privilege like a muthaf*cka!


How DARE you continue to support Donald Trump after all this bullsh*t he pulls and CONTINUES to pull months after the election? You gave his burnt orange ass some time to speak to the LGBT community and now he has gone one step further by banning them and you have the audacity to place that MAGA hat on your head and then STILL try to portray yourself as an ally to the trans-community?

A word of advice, Cait?

Your new pussy?

Ain’t POPPIN’!

Your new pussy?

Ain’t PURRIN’!

Your new pussy?


And no one wants to lick it!


Muthaf*cka, have a seat, a ditch, and a f*ckin’ PEW!


Triston is an American jetset performance artist, writer, event organizer, and activist based in Europe. As a freelance journalist, he has covered both the underground and mainstream aspects of the arts, culture, music, entertainment, travel, fashion and Fashion Week in several cities, including New York, London, Berlin, Istanbul, Sydney, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and Tokyo to name a few. He has been published in The Huffington Post, Trespass (London), Adaras Magazine (Miami) as well as featured in publications such as the New York Times, Vogue Italia, Washington Post, Turkish Huriyet and other on-line and print magazines in the U.S. and internationally. He recently released his memoir on life in Europe, 'Heaux Confessionals'. As a solo performer and with his band $kandal Du$t, he has toured in some of the world's most renowned clubs, simultaneously maintaining an underground renaissance, blurring the lines of all that is traditional and leaving his indelible, and ultimately unforgettable impression. There is no divide.

Brace yourself.


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