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Honorees and presenters arrive for GLAMOUR Magazine's 2014 Women of the Year Awards, sponsored by L'Oreal (set 3) Carnegie Hall New York, New York Monday, November 10, 2014 Johns PKI/Splash News

The Cuntspiracy: The Aftershocks of Anna Wintour’s Met Gala Melee

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Lawd, why didn’t this plane crash for the sake of all mankind?!

 

 

Anna Winter should have her bob snatched, pulled, and thrown in a gutter for this bulls*t! Because we are blaming her for this madness and seeking legal representation at this very moment. The charges are numerous, but the short list includes:

 

1) racketeering (aka excessive tittyball thrust action

2) solicitation (if a Kardashian is in the room, this is a no-brainer)

3) attempted murder (the CDC is being called as a witness)

4) trespassing (the only way to explain Chloe Sevigny on the red carpet)

5) conspiracy (this needs no explanation)

6) grand larceny (because someone stole the real dresses)

 

and much more.

 

 

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Naomi’s side-eye says it all…

Now, we cannot fault Kanye West for pimpin; his most prized possession. He married that. He has the authority to place on the corner of his choice. And he has. But what is Anna’s excuse?

 

As the most powerful person in fashion, she has obviously been paid in full to legitimize ho-in’ & hoodrattery© as a true profession. So the moment we saw Kim Kardsahian on the cover of Vogue, our black heart died a million deaths. We blame ANNA WINTOUR for this visual f*ckery and we will never let her forget it.

 

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North West has NO chance with famewhorey ‘rents like this…

 

So every time you see Kim Kardashian on a red carpet she has no business being on, remember this:

 

She should be on a corner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Triston
Triston is an American jetset performance artist, writer, event organizer, and activist based in Europe. As a freelance journalist, he has covered both the underground and mainstream aspects of the arts, culture, music, entertainment, travel, fashion and Fashion Week in several cities, including New York, London, Berlin, Istanbul, Sydney, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and Tokyo to name a few. He has been published in The Huffington Post, Trespass (London), Adaras Magazine (Miami) as well as featured in publications such as the New York Times, Vogue Italia, Washington Post, Turkish Huriyet and other on-line and print magazines in the U.S. and internationally. He recently released his memoir on life in Europe, 'Heaux Confessionals'. As a solo performer and with his band $kandal Du$t, he has toured in some of the world's most renowned clubs, simultaneously maintaining an underground renaissance, blurring the lines of all that is traditional and leaving his indelible, and ultimately unforgettable impression. There is no divide.

Brace yourself.


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