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The Cuntversationalist: Jenners vs. Kylie Minogue

 

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file this one under: ‘When RealityTrixxx Get Uppity and Drop the Ball(s)

 

 

Dear Heauxz!

 

Shots have been fired at pop royalty and we will NOT let this go without notice.

 

This is not really surprising considering these trixxx can’t f*ckin’ read, but we digress…

 

Have we come to this point in existence America that THOTs can trademark their names to prominence and more millions?

 

It’s not enough that they’ve turned FAMEWHORIN’ into an official occupation. It’s not enough that we have had to coin the term ‘virtual corner©’ to describe their THOTstitution©. It’s not enough that they’ve given virtual crabs, KHLamydia©, and a slew of other STDs to the entire world.

 

No.

 

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wrong finger, Kylie!

The youngest spawn that were poonhurled from the poon of Kris Jenner are trying to strike in new skankerrific ways that we have never seen!

 

Kylie and Kendall are attempting to trademark their names!

 

Cue THOT music now.

 

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the REAL Kylie to the Kardashian family: “What, bitches? I can’t hear you from my T-H-R-O-N-E!”

 

In a move that could potentially cause the REAL Kylie that counts – Kylie Minogue – clutch her couture and scream to the rafters, the biggest prostitots in the universe have petitioned the U.S. government to copyright their names for more checks they don’t deserve.

 

Now Kendall, who has no namesake before her at this level, may be in the clear. Not only is she a viable commodity as a model (whose career would be larger if she could drop her family altogether) is confirmed and haters be damned, she has the goods to be one so we cannot hate on that.

 

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Kylie Minogue: serving side-eye to S-L-U-T-S!

 

But that Kylie trick?

 

THAT trick?

 

No.

 

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Kylie Jenner: confusing ‘sidework’, THOTTERY, and underage f*ckin…for talent. Trick have several seats! In fact? Have a P-E-W!

Sit your underage, no-talented, THOT-in-training asses down and have several seats because there is already a Kylie in our heads, and we refuse to get her out of it.

 

So we call Kylie Minogue out to make her aware of the fuckery set to ensue.

 

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heads (both of them) get blown when your own mother places you on the virtual corner©

Ms. Minogue?

 

It’s time to take a flight and set it right!

 

We got yo’ back, our pixie of pop perfection!

 

 

Triston
Triston is an American jetset performance artist, writer, event organizer, and activist based in Europe. As a freelance journalist, he has covered both the underground and mainstream aspects of the arts, culture, music, entertainment, travel, fashion and Fashion Week in several cities, including New York, London, Berlin, Istanbul, Sydney, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and Tokyo to name a few. He has been published in The Huffington Post, Trespass (London), Adaras Magazine (Miami) as well as featured in publications such as the New York Times, Vogue Italia, Washington Post, Turkish Huriyet and other on-line and print magazines in the U.S. and internationally. He recently released his memoir on life in Europe, 'Heaux Confessionals'. As a solo performer and with his band $kandal Du$t, he has toured in some of the world's most renowned clubs, simultaneously maintaining an underground renaissance, blurring the lines of all that is traditional and leaving his indelible, and ultimately unforgettable impression. There is no divide.

Brace yourself.


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