In 2019, the collective world was yet again deluged with incessant f*ckery, and Verbal SLAPS attempted to cover it as best we could, especially given the trickle of treachery that oozed out nearly every other day. Some celebrities made us want to cover our eyes with our hands, while others had us cheering, Go, b*tch, Go! So who made the list this year?
Well, let’s get down to the nitty titty gritty, shall we?!
Poptrick of the Year: Lizzo
Lizzo took the world by storm by shaking all 17 of her asses unapologetically, and proving that thick girls not only need love, but DEMAND it on their own terms.
Move over Adele.
There’s a newer, shinier, pimped out and more fabulous sista of size on the corner and we are HERE for it!
The Don’t Call It A Comeback Award: Joe Pesci
Joe Pesci was at home chillin’ and enjoying his retirement until Martin Scorsese called him up, told him to drop the Werther’s and make possibly his last stand on the silver screen. Was it worth it?
You f*ckin’ betcha!
The Remember My Muthaf*ckin’ Name Award: Da’Vine Joy Randolph
When starring alongside some of the biggest names in Hollywood -especially Black Hollywood – it can be hard to stand out and be seen as a newcomer to the movies, but Randolph held her own, and now the Broadway star has another avenue in La La Land to show her artistic might.
Now learn how to pronounce her name cuz she ain’t goin’ NOWHERE!
Queenpin of the Year: Jennifer Lopez
Jennifer Lopez has always been a hustler. That ain’t the tea. The news this year is that she proved that she is more than a pretty face capable of assASSination. In the movie Hustlers, she gave her best acting performance in 20 years, and then got selected to headline the Super Bowl. And that ring Alex Rodriguez bought her ain’t half bad either. Plus? She brought back THE DRESS. Yasss!
The TurntUp/DownSide Award: Cardi B & Offset
No one thought they would make it through 2019 still a couple, so that alone is cause enough to celebrate this on-again/off-again/on-again couple. But Kulture is tooooo cute.
The Posed & Poised Award: Billy Porter
He’s been in the industry forever and a day, but in 2019, the Broadway star transcended the Great White Way and came through – definitively, black, gay and proud. Category?
The Convertible Countryman Award: Lil Nas X
Real musicologists know the history of country music and its black roots, but Lil Nas X came into 2019 with a vengeance, storming the Billboard charts in a genre usually regulated to Trump supporters. Though they tried to deny his place and his musical lane in Nashville, the youngster’s sonic might proved unstoppable, and soon he snatched the crown from Mariah Carey with the longest-charting #1 single ever.
Take THAT, Nashville!
The Forever Cancelled Award: Kanye
Heretofore referred to as Koonye, the musician not only shook hands with #IMPOTUS in the White House, but sacreligiously ran to God once his fans began to flee him in droves. Even with First THOT, KimmyK at his side, there is no question that the rapper will need at least until 2023 to recover from this horrible year.