In 2019, the collective world was yet again SINUNDATED with rampant f*ckery, and Verbal SLAPS attempted to cover it from A to Z, and believe you me – we took some damn notes. Some celebrities made us want to alert the authorities, while others had us cheering, “Work, b*tch, W-O-R-K! So who ELSE made the list this year?
Carrying on after Koonye, we have here…
The Leader of the New School Award: Billie Eilish
Finally! A pop singer that actually has the pipes to back it up, no smoke and mirrors necessary.
But maybe a little hair dye!
The Aunt Becky Award: Lori Loughlin
The creators of Full House must have seen this one coming, because Lori Loughlin became that (raggedy) b*tch this year, caught up in a scandal that caught her cheating to get her chirrenz into schools they don’t even belong in.
Bribes of $500,000 for both her kids to get into school? She should have just sent them to Trump University and saved some dough!
As the trial date gets closer, #AuntBecky may be trending, but not the way she wants to!
Throw her ass UNDER the jail!
honorable mention: Felicity Huffman
The Jilted THOT Award: Khloe Kardashian
Sure, she may be the most likeable Kardashian, but that ain’t saying much, now is it?
In news that isn’t exactly news when it comes to this family, Khloe was caught up in a cheating scandal that involved her babydaddy, Tristan Thompson and her sister Kylie’s best friend, Jordyn Woods. As the doctor was telling Khloe to push out her babything, Tristan was trying to lay his lips on Jordyn. The paprazzi found out, Tristan got demoted to sperm donor, and Jordyn fled to Red Table Talk to prove her innocence. We are Team Jordyn because all Kardashians are hos at heart.
It’s imprinted in their DNA, after all.
The You Ain’t Sh*t Award: R. Kelly
After 25 years of rumors, R. Kelly was finally put behind bars for touching on underage girls. It may have taken a generation to bring down this muthaf*cka, but it finally happened. Let’s hope the inmates in his cell block anally rape him until the day he leaves this earth.
The Butterfly Award: Wendy Williams
The queen of trashy talk got a bit of karma served her way when the rumors were confirmed and it was reported that her husband of over 20 years, Kevin Hunter, was about to be a father – and Wendy was not the babymama.
With that released into the world, Wendell had no choice but to bolt, taking her show with her and engaging in the single life for the first time in decades. Not one to rest on her laurels, the television titan has moved on splendidly.
Maybe now she can snag the man she truly deserves.
How YOU doin’?
The Juisy Lie Award: Jussie Smollett
As soon as we heard there were Nigerians involved in the dead cold of night in Chicago, we were already giving this one significant side-eye. Jussie Smollett allegedly needed bigger headlines to grab a bigger payday on Empire, but at what cost?
Did he have to drag down the entire black community for some coin?
The actor was arrested for staging an attack on himself, and he was soon released from his role on the hit Fox show. though he still maintains his innocence, the side-eye continues, and he may never come back from this.
The Touch’em If You Can Award: Kevin Spacey
We’ve all heard for years that Kevin Spacey was a nasty ass child-toucher, and the last year confirmed it. The actor plead not guilty to charges of groping an 18-year-old in a bar in 2016, but fast forward to now and his accuser has died under mysterious circumstances. Somewhere out there, R. Kelly has Spacey on speed dial to ask him how he did it.
Probably O.J. too!
The Moonlighting Poon Peddler Award: Allison Mack
She may look wholesome, but she’ll peddle your poon Jeffrey Epstein style!
Everyone has a side hustle these days, but former small screen star Allison Mack took the world by surprise when she plead guilty to leading a sex ring under cult leader Keith Raniere. She could be sentenced to up to 20 years for each of her charges, but we all know little blonde Beckys never stay in the penitentiary for that long.