Kris Jenner: “You’re gonna get on that corner and you’re gonna LIKE it!”

Kendall

How hard and deep have the Kardashian Klan fallen the last few months? Well, it seems that since Kylie cannot maintain the status ho quo, their pimp – mother Kris Jenner – has decided to place her last hope on the corner and see who bites. Since North West is far too young to grab a pole or curb, that means the fate of kkhlaymia© rests on the shoulders and ass of Kendall Jenner. And from the looks of it, it seems that Kendall has taken the R.I.D. dress from Madonna’s closet, sewn up a few less parts to make it appear less famewhorey and desperate for attention and hurled herself on to the red carpets of Cannes.

Kendall

Kendall’s ass is suffering from malnutrition compared to her sisters…

Enter the R.I.D. dress, take #417.

Enter Kendall, version 2-point-HO.

Exit a modicum of grace.

Kendall

Kendall’s been raiding Madonna’s closet

Now, of all the Kardashian-Jenners, Kendall seems to always be the one that is two seconds from fleeing her klan and seeking assylum, but mama Kris always reels her back in with talks of maintaining a united front. But apparently, when mama says united front, she means show your front and back – as in crack and tittyballs©!

We’re gonna let Kendall have her little time as a supermodel (insert eyeballs and coughs here) until the true future supermodel of the world is old enough to take all that money from her skanky family…

Kendall

you get one more year before Kaia hurls you in a ditch, Kendall!

This is the one time where we can say Madonna wore it best. Because at least Madonna knows how to put on a look of confident famewhore. Kendall looks constipated and scared for her LIFE.

Girl, BYE!

Triston

Triston is an American jetset performance artist, writer, event organizer, and activist based in Europe. As a freelance journalist, he has covered both the underground and mainstream aspects of the arts, culture, music, entertainment, travel, fashion and Fashion Week in several cities, including New York, London, Berlin, Istanbul, Sydney, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and Tokyo to name a few. He has been published in The Huffington Post, Trespass (London), Adaras Magazine (Miami) as well as featured in publications such as the New York Times, Vogue Italia, Turkish Huriyet and other on-line and print magazines in the U.S. and internationally. He recently released his memoir on life in Europe, ‘Heaux Confessionals’. As a solo performer and with his band $kandal Du$t, he has toured in some of the world’s most renowned clubs, simultaneously maintaining an underground renaissance, blurring the lines of all that is traditional and leaving his indelible, and ultimately unforgettable impression. There is no divide.


Brace yourself.


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