Beyonce

The look you make when it is absolutely necessary to SLAY everyone in the goddamn room and…

Let.These.Muthaf*ckas.KNOW!

We know it’s only been a few days since Queen Bey announced her return to magnificent form at Coachella, but we also know that you all are still, STILL trying to break that epic performance down as it continues to marinate in your medulla oblongata!

We are not even the biggest Beyonce fans, but?

Bey came out there like:

“I been gone for a hot minute, y’all raggedy, triflin’ ass poptrixxx had your seconds in the sun, and now I am back to snatch the crown, so kick rocks, suck dust, and step aside, b*tches!”

Beyonce

Beyonce politely pointed to where the OTHER poptrixxx need to exit the stage…

 

Oh yeah, she hit that stage so damn hard that Taylor Swift lost Every strand of her Barbie-blond hair, Demi Lovato crawled into a ditch and covered herself up with dust, Miley Cyrus crawled back into a trailer park, Britney dove into a swamp, Katy Perry dyed her hair another shade of impossible hair color and went into the PoptrixxxProtectionProgram, and Rihanna begged for the silver medal!

Iggy Azalea was unavailable for comment because does anyone even CARE about that trick anymore?

Beyonce

                                                                        serve it & S-L-A-Y!

 

And make no mistake, kids, as this was a mere tease of what’s in store for 2018. So, we hope you have saved up all your pennies and food stamps, because Beyonce is about to snatch up all your coins for the remainder of the year, so get ready by staying ready.

That is all.

Triston
Triston is an American jetset performance artist, writer, event organizer, and activist based in Europe. As a freelance journalist, he has covered both the underground and mainstream aspects of the arts, culture, music, entertainment, travel, fashion and Fashion Week in several cities, including New York, London, Berlin, Istanbul, Sydney, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and Tokyo to name a few. He has been published in The Huffington Post, Trespass (London), Adaras Magazine (Miami) as well as featured in publications such as the New York Times, Vogue Italia, Turkish Huriyet and other on-line and print magazines in the U.S. and internationally. He recently released his memoir on life in Europe, 'Heaux Confessionals'. As a solo performer and with his band $kandal Du$t, he has toured in some of the world's most renowned clubs, simultaneously maintaining an underground renaissance, blurring the lines of all that is traditional and leaving his indelible, and ultimately unforgettable impression. There is no divide.

Brace yourself.


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