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Azealia Banks Issues Verbal SLAP to Herself


Better late than never!

The controversial rapper, who is known for verbal diarrhea like no other, just last week made statements about President Obama that were so far over the line, we are certain Michelle Obama is sharpening shanks. A week later, Banks has finally come a bit closer to her senses and is allegedly asking for forgiveness for thoughts of POTUS poonhurlery.
When questioned about how her medulla oblongata functions….

“Why can’t I just stop being a hot mess? Like just for once?!?! I always try and keep it cute then something clicks in my brain and just makes me say crazy things.”


How she’s deeper than we give her credit for…

“I said so many other interesting things during that interview. I’m seriously going to start bringing a tape recorder to interviews. Just so people can hear the context in which I say things because these magazines just want to be some over sexual thing… When it’s so much deeper…”

Let’s talk about sex baby…
“Sex is like on the LEAST important things I talk about. I don’t think the media gives readers enough credit for actually being smart and intelligent.”

And finally, FLOTUS shade…

“I think Michelle Obama just put a hex on me cause I’m sick as a DOG right now.”


Trick, please.

Michelle Obama ain’t got time for hot ass messes like yourself. She’s too busy trying to raise two young black women that won’t end up as triflin’ as you.


Triston is an American jetset performance artist, writer, event organizer, and activist based in Europe. As a freelance journalist, he has covered both the underground and mainstream aspects of the arts, culture, music, entertainment, travel, fashion and Fashion Week in several cities, including New York, London, Berlin, Istanbul, Sydney, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and Tokyo to name a few. He has been published in The Huffington Post, Trespass (London), Adaras Magazine (Miami) as well as featured in publications such as the New York Times, Vogue Italia, Washington Post, Turkish Huriyet and other on-line and print magazines in the U.S. and internationally. He recently released his memoir on life in Europe, 'Heaux Confessionals'. As a solo performer and with his band $kandal Du$t, he has toured in some of the world's most renowned clubs, simultaneously maintaining an underground renaissance, blurring the lines of all that is traditional and leaving his indelible, and ultimately unforgettable impression. There is no divide.

Brace yourself.


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