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How To Rid The World of Team Kardashian-Jenner? R-O-B-B-E-R-Y!


Silly us.

Here we thought RAID, bombs, and tear gas would eradicate the world of the Kardashian-Jenner clan, but as it turns out?

Robbery seems to be the answer!

As Blac Chyna continues to ascend and the Kardashian name falls into the dirty ditch where it belongs, it seems like another trollop from the First Family of Famewhores has been snatched inside her own home and although it is nowhere near her sister Kim Kardashian’s level, we’ll take it and we expect more stock to plummet in 5,4,3,2…

The least whorey of the bunch, Kendall (although that’s not really saying much, is it?) is the latest sister to get robbed in her own damn home. Now, us mere mortals know good and goddamn well how to lock up our precious valuables even when relatives come over, so why should we feel bad for these dumbasses when they have security inside their homes?

Hell to the NO!


According to reports, alleged model (insert eyeroll here) Kendall Jenner has now fired her security guard after being robbed in her LA home. So, Kendall had a party inside her house, the guard was posted up outside, yet she blames him?

Things that make you go, “Hmmmm“.

Among the items stolen were $200,000 in jewelry, including a Rolex and a Cartier watch. Kendall left her own party at midnight and when she returned, someone that was uninvited was allowed entry and voila?

Things are MIA.

look at this trick tug-o-war!

So many questions, but who cares? WHY does Kendall even have watches when she cannot even tell time? Can this trick-a-lick not afford reliable surveillance cameras or more than one guard?

We hope this family is done and gone by the end of 2017.

Let us pray!

Triston is an American jetset performance artist, writer, event organizer, and activist based in Europe. As a freelance journalist, he has covered both the underground and mainstream aspects of the arts, culture, music, entertainment, travel, fashion and Fashion Week in several cities, including New York, London, Berlin, Istanbul, Sydney, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and Tokyo to name a few. He has been published in The Huffington Post, Trespass (London), Adaras Magazine (Miami) as well as featured in publications such as the New York Times, Vogue Italia, Washington Post, Turkish Huriyet and other on-line and print magazines in the U.S. and internationally. He recently released his memoir on life in Europe, 'Heaux Confessionals'. As a solo performer and with his band $kandal Du$t, he has toured in some of the world's most renowned clubs, simultaneously maintaining an underground renaissance, blurring the lines of all that is traditional and leaving his indelible, and ultimately unforgettable impression. There is no divide.

Brace yourself.


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