In 2015, the world of celebrity and f*ckery yet gain went hand in hand, so without further adieu, we remember the ones that made us laugh, made us pray for our sons and daughters, and made us remember that 2016 will be just more of the same shit, different year. So if you forgot a few things?
Allow us to re-UNfresh your memory…
Cuntversation of the Year Award – Charlie Sheen
We only hope your water cooler wasn’t tainted when Charlie Sheen’s name popped up this year. The former star of ‘Two and a Half Men’ and The Supreme Renter of Hookers announced on live television a few months ago that his tiger blood was full of HIV. In attempt to avoid a shake-down, the Hollywood himbo came clean about his status but in typical Sheen fashion, that was only the beginning. Lawsuits have flown, porn stars have come out of the woodworks, and more drama is set to unfold in 2016.
Grab the popcorn, folx!
Honorable Mention: Caitlyn Jenner
It’s not that Caitlyn Jenner doesn’t deserve a real prize from us in 2015, it’s more like we don’t know exactly where to place her in lieu of all the other things that happened in 2015. Best Pimped, Famewhore, et cetera were categories already taken, so we will include her here. Maybe in 2016, Caitlyn can release a sex tape with Ray J. and truly maximize her potential.
Best Film of the Year: Mad Max
Sure, Star Wars came out a few days ago and everyone is acting insane over it, but we still pick Mad Max over the George Lucas fantasy simply for that scene alone. And if you don’t know what that scene is?
The Slap & Clap Back Award: Bill Cosby
This time last year, Bill ‘Pop Your Panty Pudding’ Cosby was being accused left and right by women for alleged sexual assault. He held his ground, continued his comedy tour, and denied the rumors. More women emerged and filed suits and it looked like Cosby was throwing the towel in.
There was noise of his wife possibly taking the stand and that’s when all gloves were off. Bill Cosby countersued and in 2016, we will possibly find out what is seeping from those panties. He has filed suit against a few women, but what about the other dozens that wait in the wings?
Miss Cultural Appropriation 2015: Amy Schumer
Another hotly contested category saw Kylie Jenner plumping her lips for her pimp-slash-boyfriend Tyga, Gigi Hadid reminding everyone that she was indeed half-Palestinian before the verbal slaps flew, and Amy Schumer calling in her ‘homies’ just in time to culturally appropriate herself from underground hero to household name courtesy of her last name, Amber Rose’s ass, and a television show written by a slew of great writers that make her seem more relevant than she needs to be.
Ahhhh, do you smell that?
It’s the cha-ching of cultural appropriation by yet another white girl of questionable talent.
Best in Show: ‘Empire’
From the first episode, there was no doubt: this Cookie was definitely not crumbling!
Taraji P. Henson made her star-making turn in Fox’s Empire, which paired her yet again with Terrence Howard and confirmed what many people already knew.
Hip hop is where it’s at!